It’s Tuesday, and here at the ‘Bowl, that means we bring you some shameful piece from our own shameful past. This week, we’re going back, way back… to 1996.

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CONVERSATION STARTERS… for socially inept freshmenby Mark Davis, Fall 1996

       Promote Racial Understanding:
       “Are your parents black also?”

       Talk about philosophy:
       “So, do you exist?”

       Invite them out to eat, your treat:
       “Let’s go out to eat, your treat!”

       Ask about their home:
       “And what part of Long Island are you from?”

       Follow up the question:
       “Do you know Steve Goldberg?”

       Try again:
       “How about Ronnie Goldberg? Allen Goldberg?”

       Complement their intelligence:
       “Are your parents alums, or what?”

       Casually ask for directions:
       “Excuse me, can you show me how to unzip those pants you’re
      wearing?”