It is with great sadness that Penn basketball fans mourn the passing of the “Hey Song” chant. Frankly, I think basketball games are a pretty good place for the “Hey—you suck” chant. However, there are some places where sports chants don’t belong. Here are some of them:
Where the “Hey—you suck” chant does not belong:
commencement
interventions
grief counseling
Where the “bullshit” chant does not belong:
paternity tests, unless you’re on Maury
custody hearings
Iranian elections
Where the “De-Fense” chant does not belong:
rape trials
the end of Remember the Titans
when asked: “What would you like me to paint?”
Where spirit/wiggling fingers don’t belong:
open heart surgery
communion
digital cancer amputee support group
Where jumping in unison does not belong:
when not doing synchronized diving