After weeks of deliberation, the Penn Reading Project committee decided that the 2014-2015 program will focus on comic book anime porn. Incoming freshmen will be mailed three different issues of anime porn drawn by some of the world’s leading visionaries and artists. Due to concerns of parents and Upenn administrators, all packages will be delivered in unmarked, brown paper wrapping.

Upon arrival to Penn, new students will be expected to write a 25-minute diagnostic essay analyzing different aspects of the material. Members of the Class of 2018 began to panic after being informed that the essay could be on anything from comparing the artistic styles of each author, to contrasting the actual content from the works. The Upenn Class of 2018 Accepted Students Facebook page began to blaze with discussion upon this announcement. Sandy Clark (accepted ED with a combined SAT of 2180 and lackluster extra-curriculars) wrote in the group:

“Hi everybody, is anyone else freaking out about this PRP assignment? After all, this will be our very first assignment in college, and I heard that this is used as a diagnostic for the Writing Seminar (o_O)!!  I’ve been reading and rereading all of the anime porn for weeks now and I still just don’t feel like I have a full grasp on the material. Does anybody know what is happening on page 38 of the first comic? I can’t tell if they are eating the food because they are hungry or because it’s part of the scene. UGH.”

Provost Vincent Price, and the Office of New Student Orientation released a statement saying that they are pleased to announce the progressive theme of the coming year’s Reading Project. Provost Price said, “I look forward to the Year of Overt Sexuality in its entirety, and we all know that whatever we do it can’t be worse than that Book of Rhymes, hippy-hoppy bullshit we had last year.”