Between doing hard work preparing for finals in the library, going out on the town with my friends, and weeping inconsolably in Frontera while listening to Leona Lewis, I have not had the time to sit down for two hours and enjoy a high-quality film. I imagine you have had this struggle as well, avid reader of the Punchbowl. Thus, as I do with any difficult moment in my life, I turned to the laziest form of poetry to help solve this issue, in a new installment titled Film Haikus!

Gravity

Sandra Bullock floats

Reaches for support device

Misses narrowly

Up

Retired old man

Saves a bundle on air fares

Sans Expedia

The Departed

Leo dies, Damon dies

Nicholson also dies, but

Marky Mark survives

Scarface

Cuban immigrant

Trying to start a business

Quite hard and stressful

Karate Kid

Teen’s parents strangely

OK with their child chilling

At some old dude’s house

The Sixth Sense

Ghost stalks his ex-wife

Tells child to talk to strangers

Still a shitty husband

ET

Immigrant evades

Federal authorities

Hooray metaphors!

Lord of the Rings Series

Walking, just walking

Once in a while running

But mostly walking

Silver Linings Playbook

Insanity is

Best treated with the help of

More insane people

NOTE: spoiler alert.