Apple Store “Genius” Not

In an effort to make a little extra cash on the side, 23 year-old Matthew Clark picked up a part-time job working at the Genius Bar of his local Apple Store. This “Genius” has been an Apple user since age twelve, when he got his first iPod.

Clark, who is 5’8’ with brown hair, brown eyes, and an IQ of 103, and who likes to watch reruns of Malcolm in the Middle and listen to U2’s Greatest Hits album in his free time, has enjoyed his first few weeks at the Apple Store. “It’s pretty nice. The technology they give us Geniuses pretty much walks you through any problem a customer might have. Shattered iPhone screen? There’s a step-by-step list for that. Battery failing? Yup. Teaching people how to get their music onto their phone? You bet.”

Clark’s Store Leader seems mostly pleased with the work he has done so far. “Matthew shows up to work on time, does his job, and then clocks out when he is supposed to.” He also mentioned Clark’s inclusion of “helping [his] grandmother set up her iCloud last spring” on the relevant skills section of his resume.

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