Since everyone will be saying this at the beginning of the year, we at The Punch Bowl wanted to save you the trouble and just write it out for you! Now all you have to do is fill in the blanks. Enjoy!

Oh my god! Hey  _______ (name of friend)! Have you seen how small the freshman are this year?? Back when I was a freshman ______ (number) years ago, I was definitely not that small. Like they all look so young! Maybe it’s because I’m a _______(sophomore/junior/senior) now, but they just look so tiny. I mean I was at least ________ (your height) tall as a freshman and now they’re like definitely not that. 

And I know everyone says this every year, but as a ______ (sophomore/junior/senior/super-senior) I just feel like I know so much more now. I could endow all those clueless freshmen with my ________(metaphor/idiom), just like my friend ________ (name of that one upperclassmen who brought you to parties), who helped me out so much! ______(He/She/They/It) was like an older ______(Brother/Sister/Sibling) to me and I just want to be there for someone. 

I honestly can’t get over how young they all seem. Like there’s no way that I looked that young _____(number) years ago. It must be something they’re doing.  Despite being ______ (your age), it’s not like my perspective has changed. Clearly I have stayed the same for ______ (number) years and it is the new freshmen that are different. God forbid I actually acknowledge the passing of time and my accelerating towards old age. No, no, no it is the freshman who are abnormal; they are much too small this year. 

Anyway, it was great to see you ____ (name of friend). We should totally ________ (hang out sometime/get lunch/catch up later). Byeeeee!