Section 1, Multiple Choice:
Instructions: Circle the correct answer choice for each question. Note that all of the possible choices to each question are correct, but circle the one choice that is the most correct.
Your patient is a pregnant woman who arrives at the hospital already in labor. What is the first thing you do?
A) Rush her to a delivery room and start taking vital signs
B) Immediately check for signs of a stork, Santa Claus, or whoever brings presents during Kwanzaa
C) Gather all the doctors and start singing the Cheesecake Factory “happy birthday” song to the unborn child
D) Both A and C
The same pregnant woman finds out she needs a C-section, and becomes very nervous. How do you calm her down?
A) Offer an epidural and tell her everything’s going to be alright
B) Calmly show her the surgical tools that will be used and tell her it’s just like carving a turkey
C) C-section? Why you no get A-section?
D) Tell her it’s ok because her husband will be helping perform the delivery
A fragile, elderly woman has just fallen on you, and you are struggling to support her weight. What is your first instinct?
A) Put her down humanely
B) Comment on how skinny she’s gotten lately
C) Once she’s down safely, slowly help her get back up
D) Both A and C
Jim enters the ER with three times as many needles stuck in his arm as Tim. Tim has seven more needles in his arm than Frank, who has AIDS. If Frank sticks Tim with six of his needles at random, then Tim sticks Jim with exactly twelve needles, will Jim die?
A) It depends on how much AIDS is on Frank’s needles.
B) Jim is probably hallucinating the whole thing anyway.
C) There is not enough information to answer the question.
D) Aren’t we all going to die at some point? The ephemeral nature of life is a reality humans have been grappling with for centuries– generations upon generations of mankind have attempted to understand why people die and what would happen if nobody did. Jim, like every other intelligent being, will spend the remainder of his existence wondering about immortality and the meaning of death, but will surely, undeniably die at some point in the future.
A 44 year old, 175-pound male post-op patient is requesting more morphine, but you gave him a dose only 20 minutes ago. Should you give him more? If so, how much?
A) Yes; one dose for him; two doses for you.
B) Ask how many purple elephants he sees in the room. If the number is more than four, do not give him more morphine.
C) Yes; Refer to House, MD for dosage.
D) Hold the morphine over him, and laugh maliciously. Then take it away.