Recap: UPenn Correspondents’ Dinner

On Saturday night, while some people were at fraternity and sorority formals, many Penn student writers were attending the UPenn Correspondents’ Dinner in McClelland Hall. This annual event, also known as nerd formal, brings campus journalists together in a way that does not happen during the year, except during SAC activities fairs. While some writers from campus publications take turns making jokes about each other, the main focus of the event was to make fun of Penn.

Penn alum John Legend hosted the dinner, prompting one student writer to joke, “John is here. Again.” Here is our list of Legend’s top ten jokes from the night:

  • “It’s an honor to be here in McClelland Hall… is something a rat might say to a sandwich that was left out.”
  • “Since I’m a musician, I’m not going to tell you academics what to do with the Africa Center. That would be as crazy as you guys shutting down the Africa Center.”
  • “One of my favorite things that happened at Penn this year was when that fraternity published a Christmas photo with a black blow-up doll. That blew my mind! I didn’t even need to hear about the other racist and misogynistic frat incidents all over the country, that takes first place. Good work, Phi Delt!”
  • “It’s good to see so many 10s here. Well, GDI 10s, so Greek fours.”
  • “Penn was ranked the #1 Party School by Playboy. What Playboy doesn’t realize is we’re also the #1 Studious School.”
  • “Student mental health has been a big discussion on campus this year. But you know what nobody’s discussed, Amy Gutmann’s mental health. Must be so stressful to have a multi-million dollar salary and ignore all the things students are upset about.”
  • “A lot of people have been talking about the scourge of sexual assaults on college campuses. But I haven’t heard anyone talk about the scourge that is the visual assault Van Pelt has on my eyes.”
  • “Did you know that 1 in 4 college women are sexually assaulted during their time at school? 1 in 4 students who eat at Commons also get food poisoning.”
  • “I walked down to 49th Street earlier today, and guess what? I did not get shot. But I did get some delicious artisanal ice cream.”
  • At the end, Legend asked the students to say a pledge with him, “I swear not to write about Fling anymore, because that is not news.”

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