Yep, it’s that time of the semester again. Time to test your knowledge (or, more likely, lack thereof) on several topics you couldn’t care less about. Since you’re reading this article instead of studying, we can only conclude you’re doomed to fail. Anyways, we’re here to get you through it. You may be a failure, but you’re not alone. Here are the five stages of post-midterm grief:

 

1. Denial – “Maybe it wasn’t that bad. I’m sure everybody feels they did as awfully as I did. There’s no way that girl who’s always shopping during lecture did better than me, so I probably did well with the curve.”

 

2. Anger – “That exam was such bullsh*t. None of that material was on the study guides, practice materials, or even addressed in the review session. I don’t even think he talked about any of it in the lecture! There’s absolutely no way that he expects us to be able to succeed. God, this school sucks, this professor sucks, and my life sucks.”

 

3. Bargaining – “I should probably go talk to the professor. Maybe if I start meeting with her, she’ll take pity on me and bump my grade up? Could I try to bribe her?  I mean, I already paid someone to swap courses with me. How much would I be willing to spend to not fail this exam…?

 

4. Depression – “Why do I do this every time? I’m such a failure, I have terrible time-management, and I’ll never amount to anything. My parents are probably so disappointed, and I’m wasting the money they’re spending on my education. This is why I haven’t heard back from anywhere about internships for this summer. Nobody wants someone who failed all their midterms.”

 

5. Acceptance – “Okay, I failed this exam, but there’s still three more, and a final. And six different problem sets. There are a lot of components to my final grade, and there’s still a lot of work to be done before the semester is over. I just need to buckle down, study hard and…wait, Castle is throwing a downtown this weekend? Guess studying will have to wait!”