45 Things That Lasted Longer Than Liz Truss as Prime Minister

  1. A potted plant in someone’s Quad dorm
  2. The rats in Acme
  3. The mold in the Quad
  4. NSO relationships
  5. A College freshman’s hopes of being able to transfer into Wharton
  6. That College freshman’s stages of grief after getting rejected from the internal transfer
  7. The hope at the start of the semester of getting all A’s
  8. The Center City Wawa
  9. Time it took for Econ majors to switch to PPE 
  10. Time it took for the pre-law kid to realize they wanted to do corporate tax litigation instead of human rights law​​
  11. Time it took for the engineering student to realize they wanted to work at Raytheon instead of in solar energy
  12. Time it took for IR majors to switch to Political Science
  13. Time it took for pre-med students to declare a Biology major
  14. Penn Football’s winning streak
  15. The walk to DRL for your 10:15
  16. The wait time to get into Lauder for dinner
  17. Adam Levine’s affair(s)
  18. Office hours wait times for a CIS course 
  19. How long it took to finish your CIS 1600 assignment 
  20. How long it took to finish
  21. The Wharton’s freshman’s explanation on why we can’t print more money to solve inflation (he’s actually still going)
  22. Time it took for College students to realize they don’t care about improving the world and just want money
  23. The job hunt for a College student wanting to go into consulting 
  24. How long it takes to get out of Williams Hall
  25. The “devil’s advocate” in your American Politics class explaining why poverty isn’t real
  26. Amount of time spent in the Van Pelt basement during midterms
  27. Amount of time spent calculating the lowest possible grade you can get on your midterm and still get a decent grade in the class
  28. Run-time of Mehmet Oz ads
  29. Time it takes for Path@Penn to load
  30. Time it takes to figure out what class to take for your stupid highly-specific major requirement
  31. Time it takes to schedule a meeting with your advisor
  32. A Spotify playlist that includes Bohemian Rhapsody, Jesus of Suburbia, and Stairway to Heaven
  33. The wait time to get your food from Houston Grill
  34. Time it takes for people to leave your booked GSR
  35. Time it takes someone to walk up to the door you’re holding for them
  36. Time it takes for parents to accept your humanities major (still hasn’t happened)
  37. The time during which your relatives thought you went to Penn State
  38. A character on Gray’s Anatomy
  39. Combined run time of Riverdale
  40. Time spent waiting for an elevator in a high rise
  41. Amount of time it takes to find Gregory
  42. Time between an event occurring and The DP op-ed response
  43. Daily streak of Wharton student going to Pret (they’re networking) 
  44. Your professor who was tenured in 1985, talking about how you shouldn’t care too much about grades or finding a job
  45. Time it took to write these 45 things

Bonus: Things that Liz Truss could outlast

  1. The Acme shutdown  
  2. The Penn add/drop period 
  3. Length of Penn winter breaks

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