- A potted plant in someone’s Quad dorm
- The rats in Acme
- The mold in the Quad
- NSO relationships
- A College freshman’s hopes of being able to transfer into Wharton
- That College freshman’s stages of grief after getting rejected from the internal transfer
- The hope at the start of the semester of getting all A’s
- The Center City Wawa
- Time it took for Econ majors to switch to PPE
- Time it took for the pre-law kid to realize they wanted to do corporate tax litigation instead of human rights law
- Time it took for the engineering student to realize they wanted to work at Raytheon instead of in solar energy
- Time it took for IR majors to switch to Political Science
- Time it took for pre-med students to declare a Biology major
- Penn Football’s winning streak
- The walk to DRL for your 10:15
- The wait time to get into Lauder for dinner
- Adam Levine’s affair(s)
- Office hours wait times for a CIS course
- How long it took to finish your CIS 1600 assignment
- How long it took to finish
- The Wharton’s freshman’s explanation on why we can’t print more money to solve inflation (he’s actually still going)
- Time it took for College students to realize they don’t care about improving the world and just want money
- The job hunt for a College student wanting to go into consulting
- How long it takes to get out of Williams Hall
- The “devil’s advocate” in your American Politics class explaining why poverty isn’t real
- Amount of time spent in the Van Pelt basement during midterms
- Amount of time spent calculating the lowest possible grade you can get on your midterm and still get a decent grade in the class
- Run-time of Mehmet Oz ads
- Time it takes for Path@Penn to load
- Time it takes to figure out what class to take for your stupid highly-specific major requirement
- Time it takes to schedule a meeting with your advisor
- A Spotify playlist that includes Bohemian Rhapsody, Jesus of Suburbia, and Stairway to Heaven
- The wait time to get your food from Houston Grill
- Time it takes for people to leave your booked GSR
- Time it takes someone to walk up to the door you’re holding for them
- Time it takes for parents to accept your humanities major (still hasn’t happened)
- The time during which your relatives thought you went to Penn State
- A character on Gray’s Anatomy
- Combined run time of Riverdale
- Time spent waiting for an elevator in a high rise
- Amount of time it takes to find Gregory
- Time between an event occurring and The DP op-ed response
- Daily streak of Wharton student going to Pret (they’re networking)
- Your professor who was tenured in 1985, talking about how you shouldn’t care too much about grades or finding a job
- Time it took to write these 45 things
Bonus: Things that Liz Truss could outlast
- The Acme shutdown
- The Penn add/drop period
- Length of Penn winter breaks