13 Puns for these Cursed Times

  1. Simon and Garfunkel wrote a song about Fauci. The Sound of Science, because we all took the L.
  2. It’s normal for a Penn student to end up on a saline drip. They already attend an IV.
  3. At least one of the presidential candidates is a-biden by social distancing guidelines.
  4. I’m surprised that the far right is waging war against the USPS— I thought they were all for mail dominance.
  5. I had High Hopes that Penn students could be sensible, but you’d rather play Pandemic! At The Disco.
  6. College was supposed to be a Nirvana, but now it just Smells Like COVID-19 Spirit.
  7. How does Lana Del Rey hold online meetings? BlueJeans.
  8. Keep 6 feet away, or I’ll have to call The Police— Don’t Stand So Close To Me.
  9. An anthropomorphic allegory for healthcare access: Animal Pharm.
  10. As a populist, how does Trump shock his audience? He has dem-agog[ue].
  11. Rejected presidential campaign: Yes We Kanye.
  12. Before COVID-19, meeting in large groups was a convention.
  13. The burden of being Trump’s Supreme Court Nominee seems unbearable, but I guess someone has to Barrett.

I’d say I’m going to hell for these jokes, but it looks like we’re already living it.

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