35 Things You Can Do in the 15 Minutes Between Classes

  1. Follow the gray brick path down Locust Walk.
  2. Hide from the sport teams that travel in packs.
  3. Save 15% or more on car insurance. 🦎
  4. Contract a UTI from the Quad.
  5. Take an STD test for God’s sake!
  6. Get MERTed.
  7. Call MERT just for fun.
  8. Wait 14 minutes for a PennRides request that never comes.
  9. Swipe your card just one more time to see if it’ll get you into that frat party.
  10. Desperately eat your lunch, shoving vaguely a damp sandwich into your unsanitized hands.
  11. Dump your Bitcoins.
  12. n e t 👏 ~w e r k~ 💃
  13. Run an “Energy Mile”: Chug a 4 Loko then run a mile back and forth between your classes.
  14. Take a COVID test.
  15. Take a pregnancy test (CVS only has the off-brand kits left 🥴).
  16. Shotgun 9 beers because we ranked ninth on this year’s Forbes list.
  17. Speedwalk from DRL to Van Pelt library bathroom 510A because that’s the only one you’re comfortable using. 😌
  18. Figure out how to use Penn InTouch…actually, there’s probably not enough time for that.
  19. Trip a Wharton kid.
  20. Get tripped by an Engineering kid.
  21. Attempt to cook chicken breasts by steaming them in the Hill showers.
  22. Open Google Maps and type in the destination of your next class. You? Know your way around campus? Who are you kidding?
  23. Pray to Amy G at her on-campus house where she never stays.
  24. Make it halfway to DRL.
  25. Text your friend to see if they had lunch yet because you still can’t eat in a dining hall alone, and you’re down $100 on your Dining Dollars already from buying one bag of chips at Gourmet Grocer.
  26. Your mom. 🥵
  27. Have a good long cry. 😭
  28. Fill out a transfer application to Princeton.
  29. Choose a song to listen to while walking to your next class. You’ll only have two minutes left after finally settling on that one bop from 2014.
  30. Scout attractive males on campus, binoculars in hand.
  31. Map out a schedule to minimize the amount of walking between your classes, then forget your homework to your next class, then run to your dorm and run back to your class’s building and have just enough time to scream silently in the hallway before walking into class like nothing is wrong.
  32. Roll your eyes at the Alpha Chi Bros in their quarter zips.
  33. Run laps around the Compass during the Locust lunch rush.
  34. Launch a startup and pursue that Sigma Male Grindset.
  35. Get on the train to New Jersey and never look back.

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