Oscars Envelope Reveals Joe Biden Will Teach at Penn State Next Year

Two days after the Oscars’ already-infamous Best Picture snafu, Amy Gutmann revealed that upon further review, her personal Oscar envelope revealed that Vice President Joe Biden would actually be teaching at Penn State next year, not Penn.

“I want to tell you what happened. I opened the envelope and it said: Penn University, Joe Biden. That’s why I took such a long look at the Penn student body. I wasn’t trying to be funny,” Gutmann said in a statement. She wasn’t sure whether the misprinted name referred to the University of Pennsylvania or Penn State University. Apparently it was the latter.

As a result of the error, Biden will be moving to Happy Valley next fall to set up the Penn State Biden Center. This was apparently his intent all along. It remains unclear who mistyped the envelope and why it was delivered to Gutmann and not Eric Barron, the President of Penn State.

The Penn student population was in uproar, with dozens of undergraduates firing off snarky tweets and vowing to stage a sit-in at some undetermined location on campus.

“This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me,” said a Wharton sophomore who wished to remain anonymous. “I can’t believe he would leave us, and I can’t believe Amy Gutmann would let him go.”

It isn’t all bad news for Penn, though. Joe Biden may have left, but at least the U.S. President is still a cherished alumnus.

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